Curiosity Changes Everything
- Inka Hart
- May 28
- 2 min read
The Artwork Moment
Imagine your child comes running out of school holding a piece of artwork they’re proud of.
You reach out to take a look.
“No!” they yell.
As parents, it can be easy for our brains to jump to conclusions.
That was rude. Why are they yelling at me? Everyone is watching. I was just trying to help.
When we feel embarrassed, pressured, frustrated, or triggered, it’s easy to react from those feelings.
But what happens if we pause and get curious instead?
What if your child’s behaviour wasn’t something to react to, but something to be curious about? In this video, I share a simple school pickup example that shows how curiosity can completely change the interaction.
What Might Be Going On?
Curiosity helps us remember that behaviour is communication.
Maybe your child is excited and wants to carry the artwork themselves.
Maybe they’re worried it will get bent.
Maybe they worked hard on it and aren’t ready to hand it over yet.
Maybe they’ve had a long day and their nervous system is simply running low on fuel.
When we approach the situation with curiosity, we create space to understand what is happening
underneath the behaviour instead of getting stuck on the behaviour itself.
Curiosity Doesn’t Mean No Boundaries
Sometimes parents worry that being curious means letting things go. It doesn’t.
Curiosity comes first because it helps everyone stay regulated.
Boundaries and limits can come later, when emotions have settled.
You might respond in the moment with:
“I wonder if you want to carry your artwork yourself.”
Or:
“Looks like that artwork is really important to you.”
Then later, when everyone is calm, you can revisit it:
“It’s okay to tell me you wanted to hold your artwork. It’s not okay to yell at me. Next time, let’s practice using words.”
Connection First
When children feel understood, they are often more open to guidance. Curiosity helps us move from reacting to connecting. It helps us understand the need underneath the behaviour, support regulation, and then teach the skills we want our children to develop.
The goal isn’t perfect parenting. The goal is creating a little more space between what happens and how we respond.
Sometimes that small pause can change everything.
Want to Learn More?
If you’d like support understanding your child’s behaviour, building emotional regulation skills, or strengthening connection within your family, feel free to reach out. I’d be happy to connect.
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