When Perfect Becomes A Problem
“I can’t do it unless it’s perfect.”
Sound familiar?
Perfectionism isn’t about having high standards—it’s usually about fear. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of not being “good enough.”
As parents, it’s tempting to jump in with reassurance (“You’re amazing!”) or try to fix the problem. But what children often need most is permission to be imperfect.
Here are three simple things to try out if you notice "perfection fear thoughts" creeping in:
Praise the effort, not the outcome. Instead of “You’re so smart,” try “I noticed how hard you kept trying, even when it was tricky.”
Normalize mistakes. Talk openly about your own slip-ups. Let your child see that mistakes are part of learning—not something to hide or avoid.
Focus on progress over perfection. Ask, “Did you learn something?” rather than “Did you get it right?” Small steps forward matter far more than flawless results.
Children who struggle with perfectionism often aren’t looking for perfection—they’re looking for felt safety. Supporting kid's confidence helps them feel like they can handle being themselves, just as they are.
Feel free to book a session if you have any questions or would like to discuss further!
